Welcome, Yerma and Hayden

I honestly didn't believe people when they said that pregnant women sometimes dislike a person during their entire pregnancy. I was totally caught off guard when I became the object of that dislike to my friend, Yerma. Dislike is saying it quite nicely. Hate, detest, disgust, loathe and maybe even some words in French that can't be listed here was more like it.

Yerma and I were good friends. I saw her everyday practically before she left for Colorado last year. She was a constant lunch companion, we swam together for exercise when I hurt my ankle and couldn't run, and she even became somewhat of an emotional bodyguard defending me from my ex-girlfriends when they called me on the phone. We were pretty tight, I felt. So, I was actually pretty hurt and felt wounded when I couldn't share in Yerma's pregnancy. I mean, I had big plans when I heard that she was coming back to Saipan. I was going to be her Lamaze coach. I was going to be on-call 24-7 for any weird pregnancy cravings that she might have. I was going to be at the delivery room to take the Apgar score and refuse an episiotomy. But then she hated me.

Two days after her return, I knew that there was something different in her tone and facial expression. A few days later, a total blow out occurred and we were both pretty unforgiving of each other. The only thing left to do was to bow out of her life gracefully and let go. It wasn't easy, but what can you do when a friendship becomes toxic.

Well, last week I got a surprising phone call. Yerma apologized and basically said that we were all right again. I was apologetic myself reminding her that it wasn't all her fault. I told her I missed her.

I missed you, Yerma. Thank you.

Welcome to my world, Hayden Luke. We'll have so much fun!

Luckily, the old wives tale about the baby looking like the person whom the mother didn't like during the pregnancy didn't come true. Hayden is lovely, just like his mother.

Ti napu.

The Beachcomber

Laurina and the moon

My friend Yerma R. sent me a forwarded email about National Friendship Week that listed several virtues of what a true friend is. The original email was sent sometime in October and I can’t seem to Google when the actual dates of the week are. Anyway, I usually don’t even read emails that are of the “FW:” kind but it just so happened that I have been thinking about posting about my best friend here on Saipan. I thought I should get some good solid quotations and sayings regarding friendship, but I decided against it because they don’t seem so genuine. I’ll just list a few things that I appreciate about my best friend recently here and end this blog describing a piece that I cut for her.

• You are quick to laugh at my stupidity, and quick to forgive my faults
• Once, we argued for a whole semester and didn’t talk or even look at each other. Now, our arguments don’t even last a day
• It’s important to me that we pray together, although I do most of the praying out loud
• I know that I can trust you with anything, and you will see anything through
• You think that I am so smart, and pretend that I am a genius even though you know that I am BS-ing
• When I got into a car accident in May, you cleaned up my house so that I would have space for my peg leg and crutches to fit. You cooked for me many meals after the accident, got mad when I wanted to work after a week, and became my personal RN
• You were willing to try new things with me even though they made you uncomfortable (sounds questionable I know, but I am just really talking about badminton and lifting weights …Hahaha!)
• You are my beachcombing buddy that always wants to go outside with me (oftentimes, the one telling me to get up off my butt)
• You’ve done my laundry, filed my taxes, lent me money and are my personal unflinching dermatologist (I am so glad you are a nurse)
• In public, you are fearless to let me know if I’ve got a boogie or if my breath stinks so that I don’t embarrass myself
• You are good at what you do and I trust you professionally as a colleague
• You laugh when you want to laugh. You sing when you want to sing. You do it both in your own style, but always with class
• Although you and I don’t have a lot of money, you are not cheap in our friendship
• Your heart is gold
• I am glad that you can eat a meal now without rice, but if the meal does come with rice, I still need you to limit my intake
• You believe and you are proud of me
• Your kids and your family love me because you love me
• Your friends think I am special because I am special to you
• You’re willing to see foreign films, documentaries, and anything I want to see that’s not so mainstream from the Block (but how far from mainstream can you really get at Blockbuster?)
• You don’t think I am effeminate when I sing and make actions to Best Days by Matt White
• You like reading my blog and are critical of the things I write
• You’ve seen me through three tough breakups and was always there when I needed you, and gave me space when I needed to be alone
• When my last GF proposed that we get married, you were willing to be my Best (wo)Man and wear a tuxedo
• You are strong when I am weak (because you know that I am all about the drama, baby)
• You understand my “idzi nu iptakcho pabo ya”
• The egotistical married jackasses that always seem to flirt with you have no clue that they are so tiny and so out of your league. Guys, you’re making other guys look bad for being so dumb!
• You know the most about mi Gabriella
• You can find anything that I lose in my house (She says that if "that" was detachable, I would lose it too!)
• You are so beautiful; thank goodness you allowed yourself that backless outfit!
• I thank God for putting you in my life everyday
  Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera….

This is my best friend, Laurina B. I could list so many more things about her here, but words will never do her justice, nor justice to how lucky I am to have her as a friend.

Here is my bru, Laurina with some of our friends (Jeanette, Grace, and Chi) at the Thursday Night Street Market in Garapan Saipan. Laurina always gets coconut juice while I get the beef barbecue sticks.

Laurina is wearing Pulan yan Tasi (moon and sea), a piece made of hima salape’ (giant clam money bead) and a square Spondylus pendant. Hima is hard to cut because it is dense and crystalline. It chips and cracks if it gets too hot while cutting, grinding or polishing. The square Spondylus piece is an uncommon color very different from the traditional orange colored Spondylus salape’ that the ancient Chamorros fashioned. The shell fragment that I fashioned it from polished quite nicely, but it was rough and eroded when I found it. Even though it is pretty solid, it is thin and only a few millimeters in thickness. This square design, I also owe to Laurina and it reminds me of the moon above the sea at night with its reflection in the water and the waves.

In Chamorro legend, the moon came from the god Puntan, who before dying, transferred his extraordinary powers to his sister, Fu’una and requested that his body parts be put to creative use. She created the beautiful island of Guahan using Puntan’s body: his back for the earth, his chest for the sky, his eyebrows as the rainbows, the right eye as the sun, and the left eye as the stars and moon. This legend illustrates the link that the Chamorro people believe they have to the sun, the moon and the stars. Just like the gualafon (full moon) Laurina brightens my life everyday on Saipan.

Thanks for being my friend, and thanks for letting me share once again.

The Beachcomber

Spondylus tears

Spondylus fragments that are workable into pendants are very hard to come by. It is difficult to find good sized ones with rich colors. I found two fragments that were pretty much the same shape and bright colors on two different occasions. They weren't too big and if I decided to cut them in to the salape' shape, then they would end up being really really small. When I get stuck, I usually ask my best friend, Laurina B. for advice and a fresh look or take on things. She said, "Why not just put a hole here. I like the way it looks natural." So, I owe her the following lago', or tear-shaped pendants.

I feel as if I cheated on these a bit though because I found them shaped the way they were. I didn't need to polish them and effectively, just poked a hole through and bound them with 100% cotton braiding cord. They turned up nicely though.

Laurina's lago' (of course she gets to keep one) is a gorgeous deep orange red Spondylus fragment. Its color is amazing and I bound it together with a small Spondylus salape' toggle.

As I was working on the other lago' pendant, my friend Bev C. called me saying that she was having a hard day. She was missing her family and life in California and she would have left that instant if she could to rejoin them. Even though I understood where she was coming from, I got a bit sad thinking that I was losing another friend. I take it pretty hard when people leave, I mean it's already hard to find good friends on a small island and when you do, there isn't always that permanence. I am usually pretty bad at corresponding too, so I lose out on them even more after friends have left.

Anyway, it took a lot to clear my mind off of the distractions so again I just focused on who Bev was to me while I finished this piece. Bev, thanks for being there for me. I know that you hear me complain a bit and you see the drama come out at times, but I've got to thank you for being there for me. You never judge me. You've also allowed me to live vicariously on your love life as you pursued a new relationship, while I was still pretty broken hearted and had a general disenchantment for relationships. No matter where you go, I will be there for you. I name this piece after you, Bev's lago' :

Bev's lago' is a bright orange Spondylus, and is naturally tear-shaped that I complimented with a small Spondylus salape' and a small sling stone shaped toggle.

I enjoyed "making" the lago' pendants and like Laurina said, I like the natural look on both of them. As always though, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I asked my friend Yerma R. what she thought of the design and she said, "It kind of looks like a dried piece of salmon. I mean, for people who might not know what it is." "Hahahaha!", I laughed so hard I almost had a tear.

Thank you for allowing me to share once again.

The Beachcomber